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| All, My co-worker was talking to me today and, in his southern ignorance, said the exact thing you do not say to an Iowan. "Iowa? They are potatoes, right?" No, not right. Not right at all. In a million years that will not be right. I feel bad for you spewing out all the not-rightness. Even a quarter teaspoon of that not-right, once applied to the skin, will eventually make it's way to your stomach causing you to cry, "There is something not right with my belly". You'll have to turn only left from now on, because all your directions will be not-right but left. Gee, I wonder what your political affiliation is? It's probably not-(far)right. So I says to this bozo, "South Carolina, eh? The Badlands are pretty sweet." | | |
| Jess and I opened a Sky subscription. Sky is the cable provider for most of the UK. It has opened us up to all kinds of British programming. Before we got channels, if our door was closed, we could shut out the British world. The three of us could sit and pretend we were in our Chevy by the levy. But now, due to having cable, and an ultra comfortable new sofa, we are slowly assimilating into the British world. We see it and hear it whenever the "tele" goes on.
Now this isn't totally a bad thing. The fact is we are going to live here for the next 2 years or so, and assimilating a little bit makes it easier to cope and relate. You get used to nothing but pubs and Tesco being open after 5. You stop saying "soccer" in your head when the locals are raving over Manchester United "football". And every Friday I take out the "rubbish bins" instead of the "garbage cans". It's not bad stuff.
Except for one. Being that there are about 60 million Brits living on an island the size of Michigan, and the fact that they get like only 5 hours of sunlight from December to February, they as a people have become kinda "wonky". A fair percentage are downright goofy looking. They listen to dance music in their Citroen's at 10 in the morning. When they get excited about something it seems like they are happily choking on a digestive. Do not be fooled, as our friend Elizabeth was, by thinking that they are all Hugh Grants, Colin Firths, or Beckham's. They've all moved to the States. All the Tony Blairs stayed here.
Anyways, why this is a bad thing is because I was watching "An MG is Born" on Discovery Turbo. It's the equivalent of a garage mechanic show in the states. Three British guys in their garage working on an MG, trying to get it running again. I sat through 3 hours of this, strangely loving every minute. Then it hit me! I had not even noticed that the blokes on this show were some of the most goofy looking people I had ever seen! How have I missed this? How many other "goofies" had I seen that day but not noticed?
Have I become goofy as well?
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| We got neon yellow urinal cakes at work! | | |
|  | Currently Watching
Airplane 2 - The Sequel
By Craig Berenson, Sonny Bono, Lloyd Bridges, Raymond Burr, Chuck Connors, John Dehner, Chad Everett, Peter Graves, Julie Hagerty, Robert Hays, Laurene Landon, Kent McCord, Lee Purcell, William Shatner, Stephen Stucker, Rip Torn, John Vernon, James A. Watson Jr., Al White
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That's cows in the British way, meaning dimwitted, not fat. Why are they all so mean? I actually had one of the ladies that works the security line at O'Hare try to put one of those "walk this way" rope thingies through me while I was asking her where I need to go. Then she directed me down a line that ended in the middle of nowhere. When I went under the rope to get back into what may have been a line, she gave me a dirty look. I thought to myself, "Keep staring and I'll shave your uni-brow!" Don't even get me started with the girls at the McDonald's counter. I still have unfinished business with one of them. And by unfinished business, I mean a swift throat punch. I've been stuck in O'Hare for about 22 hours now, and it looks like another 12 before I can get to Balitmore. My breath wreaked, but I had some Junior Mints, so I'm golden. I'm not flying back to the UK. I'll schedule a ride on a fishing boat with shady bearded men before I step foot on a plane again. | | |
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